Before You Say “I’ll Handle It,” Ask This
October 3, 2026
Read Time - 4 minutes
“Coaching is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance. It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them.”
~Sir John Whitmore, Coaching for Performance
I got myself into a bit of trouble in my second year as a chair.
A senior faculty member who served as a program director came to me with a complaint about another colleague in the program. The colleague was asking students to attend evening events, scheduling extra class sessions, and generally monopolizing students’ time.
I’m sure I leaned back, cracked my knuckles, and thought to myself, “Not a problem. I can handle this.” A short, friendly conversation would settle it.
(Look at me helping, right?)
I showed up at the colleague’s door and asked if they had a few minutes to chat. As soon as I mentioned their classes, I could sense the energy in the room shift. They went on guard, and the conversation spiraled into an almost two-hour grievance session about their existential struggles with colleagues, their classes, and their role in the universe.
I quickly realized two things. My afternoon was now gone. And my presence as department chair had turned a scheduling question into something much bigger than it needed to be.
A third realization came much later. By stepping in, I had robbed the program director of an opportunity to lead.
As faculty, I was rewarded for solving problems. Spotting the issue, knowing the answer, and fixing it fast made me a valued colleague. As chair, that same habit often got in my way.
Learning to let those problems go was a paradigm shift for me, and it’s the only way any of us can scale what we’re able to do. If every problem we could solve runs through us, we never get out of the weeds long enough to work on the ones only we can solve.
You might be thinking, “But Kevin, so many problems come to my desk. What am I supposed to do?”
Five Ways to Help
That, my friend, is a problem unto itself.
If everything flows to you, you need to build up the team around you, and I wrote about building that bench in 59 Direct Reports. Zero Bench.
But for today, let’s focus on what we do in the moment. When someone brings us a problem, we have five ways to respond, and each one is the right call some of the time:
Wait. Let it play out. This is right when time will solve it or someone is already handling it, and wrong when we’re dodging a hard conversation.
Correct. Tell them what’s wrong and how to fix it. This is right when safety, compliance, or a clear standard is at stake.
Advise. Share what worked for us. This is right when the situation is new to them and our experience saves them real time.
Fix. Step in and solve it ourselves. This is right when the problem truly needs our authority. (That was me, knocking on my colleague’s door.)
Coach. Ask the questions that help them find their own answer. This is right when they’re capable of solving it.
The International Coaching Federation defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” And here's the proof it works: a meta-analysis by Theeboom, Beersma, and van Vianen found that coaching improved performance, well-being, coping, work attitudes, and goal-directed self-regulation.
Most of us have a default. Mine was #4, and I’d bet it’s the most common default among academic leaders.
Coaching in Real Situations
A simple rule to keep in mind: for every answer you want to give, ask two questions first. Here’s how that sounds in situations we face every week.
A complaint about a colleague. Instead of “I’ll talk to them,” try “What would you say to them if you knew it would go well? What do you need from me?”
Conflict in a meeting. Instead of “That’s out of line,” try “I hear strong feelings here. What’s driving them, and what outcome do we want in this situation?”
Faculty underperformance. Instead of “You’re not meeting expectations,” try “What feels most challenging about meeting these expectations? What support would help?”
If you’re anything like me, these questions will feel awkward the first few times. Ask them anyway. They change the direction of the conversation, and the answers are often more interesting than ours.
The hard part is noticing the chance to do so. When a problem shows up, most of us ask ourselves, “Can I solve this?” The answer is almost always yes. And since the question stays focused on us, our answer keeps us at the center of every problem. A better question is “Can they?” Asking it shifts our attention from what we can do to what the person in front of us can do.
Try This Before Friday
The next time someone brings you a problem, ask yourself one question before you respond: “Can they?” If the answer is yes, ask them, “What have you tried so far?” and then, “What do you want to happen?” Then stop talking.
Ronald Heifetz and Marty Linsky call this “giving the work back.” In my experience, most people already have an idea. They’re just waiting to be asked.
Bottom Line
The instinct to fix comes from caring about the work, and none of us should apologize for that.
Coaching points that same care at the person doing the work. It almost always takes longer in the moment, but over time it builds a team of people who make decisions, solve problems, and lead without waiting for us.
And if fixing is your default, take it as a sign of how good you are! You don’t have to overhaul how you lead. The next time a problem comes your way, start with a question and then notice how the conversation shifts. That question is small, but it's how the people around us grow.
Think about the leader who made you better.
I’d bet you remember the responsibility they handed to you more than any problem they solved for you.
And if we're lucky, someday someone will remember us the same way.
Thanks for reading today. I'll see you next week.
Put this to work on your campus.
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